By Maya Benharroch, Personal Life Coach
Many People know that anger can be a destructive and harmful energy. We see examples of it quite often in the media and even in our own lives. It causes people to be violent, to act out and destroy things or to shut down from others.
Many people also never learned what to do when they feel angry, so they tend to just suppress it until it explodes at the wrong time. Those successful in silencing their anger over time develop all kinds of ailments. Starting from chronic fatigue, apathy and migraines continuing with addictions, insomnia, binge eating and weight gain as well as high blood pressure, chest pains and even death! This is a serious issue and one that has been overlooked in many circles for many years.
For me, I experienced the extreme swings between rage and guilt when my marriage broke down, and I was struggling financially to provide for me and my Daughter. I felt emotionally drained, extremely anxious and unavailable to her when she needed my reassuring support after the separation. I had been learning and developing my awareness and my spiritual connection to myself, and one beautiful morning I found myself literally ‘downloading’ this process of Anger Releasing in about 30 mins. Since then, I’ve been using this on myself and facilitating others and it seems to help each time! Always reducing the angst and bringing in good ideas of how to better deal with things.
Here are 10 things we can do to effectively deal with and release long-held anger for better living. Once you apply these suggestions it may not mean that it would be the end of anger forever. But you will have a clear understanding of and therefore benefit from that situation that brought you anger.
These steps are not meant to take the place of any therapy that might be of benefit to those that suffer from deep trauma. If you are one, I would highly recommend that you seek out professional assistance. But for the average person with day to day concerns I put together the following points.
So, if you’re ready, here we go :
1. Acknowledge the anger
Nobody can effectively deal with something they don’t acknowledge.
Let yourself acknowledge when you are angry. For some, this is easy because they’ve learned how to be alert enough to their emotions but others may need some help with identifying what they feel. Here are a few tell-tale signs that you might have some anger ‘under the hood’:
* You often wake up with your jaw clenched.
* You don’t want to make eye contact with certain people in your life.
* You are suffering from insomnia.
* You are accident prone.
* You often feel like a victim of circumstances.
* You find that you have a dry nagging cough without having a cold.
* You often snap at your loved ones only to regret and feel guilty after.
And there are many more signs, but just asking yourself and opening up to the truth of what you feel can help you there.
2. Allowing your feelings
Imagine yourself walking down a garden path and there’s a thorn sticking out from a rose bush. And imaging your shirt getting caught on that thorn. Now, if you keep going you will snag your shirt or possibly your skin, but if you take a step back you’ll be able to release your shirt and move forward again unharmed. It is the same with anger and any negative emotion: unless you take a step back and let yourself be where you are, you will not successfully be able to move forward without cost. Psychological studies show that suppressed anger can lead to depression, eating disorders, addictions, anxiety and relationships that generally do not work well.
So, allow yourself to be angry for just a little while, that is to really FEEL the anger while not judging yourself about it.