Practical tools of attachment parenting for new parents
Attachment parenting is a natural way of relating to babies and children for most of the new generation of conscious parents. But for many people in the mainstream parts of our society, but also for some non-parents or those who did not explore their inner child wounds, it remains a strange approach to parent-child relationships.
In a series of articles, I will propose to explore with you few basics practical tools that nurture the values we want to bring to our babies : feeling loved, feeling safe, feeling accepted the way they are, unconditionally.
In this first article, I offer a brief overview of what is attachment parenting.
What is attachment parenting ?
Parenting is the set of behaviors that aim to meet the needs of the baby and the child. Beyond providing food and changing diapers, we know that the little human needs love, touch and presence to optimise her-his psychomotor development.
Attachment parenting responds particularly to this need for contact and gentleness. It is inspired by the living traditions of many peoples of Asia, Africa, Amazonia, North pole, etc.
While some aspects of this relationship to the baby is spreading in Babylon, such as carrying babies in slings or using washables diapers, attachment parenting is much more than a consumption behavior.
Buying all-in-one washable diapers, woolen clothes, wooden toys and an evolutionary chair, is interesting, but the essential of attachment parenting stay far away from the market place.
You may know that the very first months of the baby are called “the fourth trimester of pregnancy” and it is essential to offer the newborn the smoothest transition possible between his uterine life and his earthly life. Carrying her-him close to our heart beat, co-slepping, singing, massages, filtering external stimuli (like artificial lights, sounds and disturbing energies) are practices that help the child to get used to his environment and nourish the nascent relationship, the bonding, between the parents and the child. In French, my mother tongue, attachment parenting is literally called “proximal parenting” which said it all.
Attachment parenting is a way of life with children, with all children not only ours. It is not limited to parents. As we are all concious of it, co-parenting and raising kids in a broader family, a community for example, is the way. We all know this saying: “It need a village to raise a child”…
When I was living in Babylon, my children occasionally went to a nanny, a wonderful hungarian mother of 5 unschooled children. She was carrying the little ones on her back as much as needed. There were taken out for big walk around the local park to enjoy the smooth rocking movement of her hips (or the one of her elder daughters) while falling alseep, feeling safe, contained, embraced by her loving presence.
My mother, amost 70 years-old at that time, used to practice elimination communictaion with my kids (i.e. answering needs to pee and poo by being receptive to the signals of the baby). After dealing with her own judgments and fears, she was feeling so proud of this way to bond with her grand children !
Exploring practical tools
I propose you to discover step-by step and in detail the “tools” of attachment parenting. My wish is to raise awareness and to allow us to question our practices and mind-set. Maybe you might bring this tools to your daily approach of babies and children… and maybe not ! 🙂
Here are the aspects I will explore with you trough a bunch of articles :
- Carrying babies
- Long-term breastfeeding
- Communication elimination
- Signing with babies
- Baby and children massage
- Non-violent communication with kids
- Food diversification led by the child
Feel free to comment and ask questions.